I Need a Hobby

Summer has sprung, and I do not know what to do with myself. Back in the day, a phrase I use in order to make myself seem older than I actually am, I used to fill my summer with fun organized activities- camps, teams, fighting my neighbor with pool noodles- the sky was truly the limit. However, this summer I have none of those things, the result of a need to seem normal and restrictive age limits on summer camps. This was perhaps best highlighted when I wandered down to my basement to escape the heat, came across the movie The Dukes of Hazzard and thought to myself “Now there is a movie that could use another viewing”. I got about 30 minutes in, at which point I turned the movie off, distraught and sad. The sadness was brought about by my realization that Jessica Simpson is already past her prime as the attractive female sidekick, making her one of the quickest flashes in the pan of the 00’s (my top ten would be: 1. Jenna Fischer, Blades of Glory and Walk Hard, 2. Jessica Simpson, Dukes of Hazzard and Employee of the Month, 3. Eva Mendes, Hitch and Ghost Rider). The distraught came from the realization that I needed to find something better to do with my time.

Top 3?

I’ve never been one to keep hobbies. Laziness has always been a stifling influence. So if I am going to successfully be busy over the summer I am going to have to stick with it. I wracked my brain for hobbies, and I came up with these options, all of which I am going to try:

Reading: As close friends may remember, I made a vow to myself that I would read over fifty books this year. At last count I was at around fifteen, a little bit off the pace. However, now I have the time with which to read! I recently read the book Zeitoun, the story of a man trapped in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina, and I loved it. The story, and the way it was told, was gripping and enjoyable. It also helped that the story made me angry, the story deals in part with the mistreatment of the main character by the government, and had me looking for more information. I hope to find more books that will have similar effects on me. I’m starting with a book by the same author, Dave Eggers, called A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, the title alone made it a must read.

Roller Blading: I’m not an athlete. But I actually used to be able to roller blade quite well as part of my paper route. So I thought that maybe I would go down to the park and try it again. My first attempt resulted in an almost collision with a small child and, in avoiding the child, a collision with a pole. Luckily, I can’t really go that fast. After around ten minutes I was doing pretty well. I think this one has potential!

Learning University Skills: I’m going to university next year and I think that I need to learn some important skills. I made a short list to start with: Cooking, Laundry, Keeping a Room that I Live in Neat, and Driving (working on it with driver’s ed).

Those are just the first three of my long list of possible hobbies. In the future I hope to talk a little bit about my experimenting with hobbies and the various problems they cause (maybe spelunking?). Action Time!

National Highfive Day on Thursday!

I was reading the Globe and Mail today and I discovered something miraculous. Thursday is National Highfive Day! I personally love high fives and have a few special high five companions who I never fail to high five when the time is right. However, of all the high fives I have ever had in my life one stands above them all. A friend in my math class and I one day decided a high five was necessary, I don't remember the pretext although Rational Functions come to mind. We had no previous high five experience together, no practice. That's the thing about highfives, it's not like baseball where having a knowledge of the pitcher always helps; sometimes there is just a high five connection! This was one of those times. After the high five my nervous system shook a little, my palm throbbed, and my heart filled with joy. I knew that I had just had the best highfive of my life. Thursday being National Highfive Day, I encourage you to search for that feeling. I know I'll be out looking. Happy National Highfive Day everyone.

A Diagram...just in case.

It's all HER fault.

Anything after this is Rachael's fault...You'll See

Maybe it’s because we all secretly fear that our significant others will sleep with a copy girl, or maybe it’s because we simply have too much time on our hands, but recently my group of friends (really just my friend Christa and I) have been debating whether or not Ross was in the wrong when he slept with the copy girl while he was on a break with Rachael. It is a subject both polarizing and extremely worthless. Nonetheless, I have decided to argue my points, right here.

It is interesting to me that no one ever argues that Rachael was in the wrong in this situation. I personally attribute this to the hypnotic effects of her hair. Where exactly is the natural colour? How exactly does it...blend. Regardless of her science defying hair, Rachael really comes off like a jerk in the episode. She takes a legitimate concern of Ross’s (that she is spending too much time with Mark) and simply says I don’t want to talk about it, and resorts to “taking a break” rather than working on the relationship. Apparently fighting about the same subject two times is too difficult. Then she decides that she’s spent enough time playing with Ross’s feelings, she wants to get back together. So she gives him a call. First, however, she allows the very guy that her boyfriend (the one she apparently wants to get back together with) is jealous of to come over and comfort her. That’s clever. Next time I get in a fight with my girlfriend about her being jealous of the amount of time I spend eating Jello, I’ll be sure to take a page out of Rachael’s book and organize a Jello eating contest in my girlfriend’s front yard. Can we honestly blame Ross for getting angry when he hears that Mark is the one comforting his girlfriend (if we can call her that at this point, they are “on a break”). Perhaps we should consider what happens if Ross doesn’t get with the copy girl and Rachael gets together with Mark. Rachael would be around the coffee shop with Mark, while Ross would be the idiot, all alone, a jilted copy girl never wanting to see him again. When Ross realizes his mistake, he cannot admit it because he knows that what they both want is to get back together again. This brings us to the concept of “the break”.

If we are to debate what one is allowed to do on a break, we must first define the purpose of said break. My rival, Christa, states that the goal of a break is to “discover if each party would be happier without the other”. Surely Ross’s dating prospects outside of Rachael must figure into this. If Ross cannot get other girls than of course he would be happier with Rachael. Dating is an important part of life, and therefore to fulfill the goal of the break he has to figure out what dating would be like without Rachael. If the goal of the break is the discover whether Ross and Rachael would be happier apart, Rachael shouldn’t be able to guilt Ross for trying to do just that. After all, she was the one who called the break. If she is upset that Ross has found something better than sure, she has a right to be upset. But she blames Ross for the demise of the relationship, when she was the one who called the break, a relationship motion that allows the break to become permenant. Futhermore, when Ross made it clear that he wanted to get back together, Rachael said no. She whined and complained about the situation that she herself had created. Ross didn’t want a break, Rachael did.

Rachael made many mistakes throughout the “break” fiasco. She called a break rather than talking things through, she allowed Mark into her apartment to console her, and she cuts ties on a salvageable relationship. In short, it is the issue of her part in the whole problem that should be debated, not Ross’s. Christa, I win.

To Hell With Being a Pokemon Catching Team, Schulz is Going Down!

As it turns out my good friend Stephanie Schulz does have a blog (its http://complimentslikecupcakes.blogspot.com/). I'm not exactly sure when she has found the time to crank out essays on her days but I am jealous. I think it is time to give the three followers who have passionately read my blog, I'm assuming as their names are there, a good blog. I'm going to outblog Stephanie Schulz. There are many reasons I assume that I can do this:
1. It should be spelt Schultz, there is a t there make no mistake about it.
2. When I put my mind to things I'm unstoppable, recently I convinced a girl to give me $25 for me to attend a prom...perhaps I should save these stories for my later posts.
3. I have so many half finished projects its not funny. I can finish those right!? I'm thinking that the Cereal Bowl will be the first thing. Maybe I should get a new blog title!
Ok so maybe I'm going overboard. I saw one blog that was better than mine and I got jealous. But mark my words, by the end of the month my blog will be only slightly worse than "a slice of life". Starting tomorrow, in which I conclusively prove that Rachael from Friends was wrong, in essay form. IT'S ON!

Blast from the 8 Year Old Past

Today I finally broke down and bought the latest Pokemon game. I had to start this post with that sentence, the first step is admitting it. The last time I played a Pokemon game with the intention of beating it was when I was 10, one of my more depressing years. At that time I caught all the Pokemon that one can in the game. I bought the game with the intention of taking an epic trip back into my childhood, a nice ritual that symbolized who I was then, and who I am now. As it turns out who I am now is an idiot who still spends $40 on Pokemon games. Regardless, I think I need to finish this, catch all 493 (a number I looked up that made me immediatly regret typing the previous words) pokemon. My goal is June. My friend Stephanie (I would link to her blog but...I don't think she has one) is going to catch the Soul Silver pokemon for me. It has been awhile since I've done this and after completing the first badge I'm sore (not that fingers, that would be moronic, more in the general brain area, like I've been hit with a sledgehammer). I think the first step should be to beat the game, get all the badges, then go to the areas and catch em' all! Please excuse my lack of excitement.

Pokemon Progress Report:
Pokemon Obtained: 4
Pokemon Seen: 12
Last Pokemon Thought: "What the hell are the Ruins of Alph...why do I care"

University Visits

I've just returned from my university visit to Brock University. Here are a few of the things I noticed:
1. It's close to Great Wolf Lodge, an indoor waterpark/hotel! It has a water coaster for the people who enjoy those things (not me) and a lazy river for those who enjoy going around in circles with their feet up (me). If you're ever looking for a way to totally relax, lazy river my friend. If there is one thing I have discovered, it is that.
2. I have no idea where the heck Lost is going. If you've ever watched the movie Gigantic you'll know the feelings, having no idea where its going (kinda thrilling) and having no idea where its going (kinda annoying). Just sub in a smoke monster for the crazy homeless man, and an actual enjoyable plot and they're very similar. Let's hope the ending is better than the homeless man being imaginary (sorry, but you really shouldn't watch it anyways, consider it a favour).
3. If I could get 1) a skeeball machine 2) star wars arcade shooter (newer one) 3) Pacman, in my house...oh it wouldn't be healthy.
4. Finally some Brock things. Brock is awesome. My one piece of advice to anyone choosing universities is to visit the schools (not the website). When you find the right one, I think you'll know it. Maybe it'll be the Macs in the computer lab (Mac Pro btw, just sayin), or just the feel but you will know. In addition to that, maybe spend a bit of the time alone. Families try to be helpful, and they are, but they aren't with you in university, what you feel is what matters.
5. In Death of a Salesman, when Happy keeps saying "I'm losing weight Pop" but Willy doesn't even respond to him...unimaginably sad. Just noticed that on the second time through.
6. Keeping in touch is going to be hard. In the two days since I've been gone it has felt like much longer. I'm going to have to find a better way than texting...something for the future.
I will continue this later. It's late and there is a waterslide to supervise tomorrow.

And I'm Back

Perhaps it is because I happened to wander by the computer, or perhaps due to a conscious desire to blog. Either way, I am here. Today, due to a lack of inspiration, I will discuss the social convention of best friendship. Recently, the post of my best friendship has been in a state of flux. For those of you who are saying "Oh, no! I cannot be so" do not worry, all is ok. No, my comments on my best friendship that I am here to discuss, it is some unnamed person. More specifically it is someone with TWO best friends. Now, I do no begrudge the fact that this person has two close friends. In fact I am very happy. My problem is with the entire idea that you can have two best friends. Being the best at something implies that you are bar none the most skilled person at the particular field. Saying that two people are the best insults them both because it takes away the specialness of being the best; those people are not the best, they are not bar none. And so I say to all those people sitting on the fence, you cannot have two best friends. Harry Potter's was Ron. Hermoine was a good friend, wonderful, terrific- whatever you want to call her. But she wasn't his best friend. Now i say to you, dear reader, who's yours?

In other, less debating, news, I have read my first book of the new Mitchian calendar year. It is called "Up in the Air, and will soon out in the theatres as a movie of the same name. I really enjoyed the book in a weird Fight Clubish way. It gave me a feeling in the pit of my stomach, I didn't like it but that was the point. I would recommend this book to anyone who cares to take my opinion.

Finally, to the writer's of Glee. I love your show. It's lack of theme song (sans a shout of Glee in harmony) would annoy me with any other show, but it works with you. However, could you do me a favour? Give me a phone call and tell me whether Finn and Rachel, Shouster and Emma, or The Gym Teacher and Sue will get together (ok perhaps not the last one). This stringing me along is getting me all sad, and that simply is against the nature of your wonderful program.