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We don't know each other. You may faintly remember that I'm the guy who was grinding with your ex-girlfriend at a dance while you were grinding with another guy while wearing neon green pants and a pink wig. You also may have read my letter to another douchebag, that letter has caused me to write this one. You see my girlfriend (again your ex, just to make sure youre on the same page...I've heard you aren't the most clever) was slightly offended that she didn't get an angry letter written by one of her friends to you. Also she thinks that I wrote that our first time was terrible (by our I mean Alysha and I, not you and i...sorry neon green just turns me off). So that's why i'm writing you this letter. Unfortunately, I don't really think that I can write an angry letter to you. I'm not angry at all. You see I'm glad that you're a jerk who dumps girls because they won't give him sexual pleasure after a month. Because of that, I'm with an amazing girl who i love and who loves me back (not to brag or anything, if i was bragging I would say that the sex is great...it is...sorry). So thank you, please continue to be an asshole, wear leopard skin banana hammocks and dump girls for being angry that they won't go down on you in the first date, I encourage it. Because while it may hurt the girl in the short term, she'll go for the nice guy (that's me...i hope) and you, you'll probably be alone. Thanks again!
Mitch
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